tidak senang hati

being a scholar is not fun. being a normal student is fun.
either you get to th cut-off point, or you dont. thats it.

so the plan is simple isnt it? for you to get to the cut-off point, what must you do? studyy. yes studyyy~ other matters are all sorted out for you.

but the bond is long tho. i have 10 years. yes, 10 long years of public service to look forward to IF , god willing, i pass the whole thing. but some guy told me its okay to have long bonds with th government. why? because you get to meet people. by meeting people, you build connections. and by the time you end your bond and upon up your own, you'll have a long list of usual patients. they'll come to you, recommend you to their friends and family. think about it; a brand new clinic opened in front of your house and a usual doctor whom you see. which one would you choose?

so there it is.

err.. this post was meant to pacify my nerves. i think im failing subjects which i shouldn't and doing well in those that i shouldn't be. my last exam i only got 11 points when i should be getting 12. so yea, im pessimistic about where im heading now.

When you just don't care, others actually do.

Thank you for the surprise birthday party loves!



To the host, Aliyah Z.
I actually thought that when you told me to get your handbag in the living room, you had a birthday gift for me in your bag. Never crossed my mind that the gift was a room of friends with food and cakes and dancing mats.
:')
And for the post on your blog.


And to Elle and Umi.
For making me cancel my gym plan and asking me out to town on Saturday. If Elle hadn't call, I would've forgotten Saturday was actually the 14th of November. Seriously.


And to all guest who came.
I was surprised, speechless, touched and all the mixed emotions I had at that moment when I opened the door. Almost had tears but I managed to hold it back. Sorry lah, ego sangat tinggi tidak mahu hilang macho menangis depan rakan-rakan :')



To be honest it has been long since the idea of having a celebration on my own birthday crosses my mind.

But when you just don't care, doesn't mean that others don't too.
:')

So, I am grateful to have such friends.

Very awesome ones.

God bless us all :)

Get off my chest.

When your head is in a mess, and you can't seem to figure it out on your own.
You go to others for opinions and maybe, just maybe, help you with the solution.
But when what others' opinions are not what you what to hear, you're back to square one.
With the mess in your head going nowhere.


"Not what I wanted to hear"?
i.e. I've made up my mind and all I want you to say now is something that associates to agreeing with my decision.
All else, I will decline.


Back to square one? Sigh.
Stuck with questions "What now? So how? How will I make this go away?"
Seems like its all up to you now.
All up to YOU, to make it go away.


But we always forget.
Apa guna sembahyang, baca Quran dan doa hari-hari, siang dan malam?
God is there.
He is ALWAYS there.
How come you don't ask from Him?
All you have to do is ASK.
Doa, Amirah. DOA.


InsyaAllah.
He will help.

luahan minda

pada suatu hari, saya ke alamanda. tiada tujuan sebenarnya, saja2 untuk membuang duit biasiswa yang tinggal sedikit ini. sedang saya berjalan jalan, tiba2 mata saya tertarik dengan sebuah kedai. kedai tersebut penuh dengan kertas. saya pun menghampiri kedai tersebut dengan kesukaan yang tidak terkata dan mengambil kertas kertas yang telah dikumpulkan bersama. orang yang jaga kedai tu kata bnda tu newspaper. ohh. ok serious. saya pun ambik the star, sbb mmg saya ni star, padan la baca the star kan. tengah saya tunggu baki duit tu, ada la sorang bapa ni, bersama dengan anak kecil, masuk jg kdai tu. igtkan bpa tu amik nwspaper yg beliau2 slalu baca (jenis newspaper yang bapa saya baca). di sana saya silap, bpa budak tu amik metro. saya hairan mengapa, ingin juga tnya, tp dia cepat2 lari.

bagi saya, metro ni agak nonsense sedikit. i dont like th title, especially th front page news. my classmate ckp "metro ada crita panas", dalam hati saya berkata "metro ada cerita bodoh". mengapa saya berkata demikian? mari kita lihat front page news yang saya rasa bodoh (hanya tajuk) :

1) SIHIR DALAM MAHKAMAH
2) SASAR GADIS MONTEL
3) WAK TERLAMPAU
4) TIDAK PUAS

apa yang akan timbul di fikiran anda bila lihat headline begini? hahh, itulah (minda saya suci). tajuk yang pertama tu sebenarnya menceritakan tentang beberapa incident yang terjadi di mahkamah syariah, ada peguam kata mereka terhidu bau kemenyan (saya tidak tahu apa tu kemenyan), badan bergegar, tiba2 jadi gagap, dan banyak lagi. hakim pun ada juga. headline yang kedua, saya tidak tahu cerita sebab saya tidak peduli untuk membaca tentang gadis montel kerana saya langsing. yang ketiga, bomoh dan nombor ekor. entah apa la cerita dia, kalau ingin tahu lebih lanjut bacalah di metro. yang last, fikir fikir lah sendiri.

sekian, ini hanya pendapat saya.
kalau tidak puas hati, saya tidak peduli.
terima kaseh. :)