Monday, December 29, 2008

2 AM

its almost three actually.

nadia called me on saturday, it was soo random but it was nice to hear from someone familiar/close to sunway :) told me faiz is in town. i was like "wtf. he's here??" but i didnt say it on the phone. lol. she asked if i wanted to hangout but i had plans that day with my classmates. so we went out on sunday instead to the FUNFAIR aka FUNDERLAND!

Funderland is actually very close to RDS, the UCD exam hall. I didnt know. so i went to the city instead, to meet up w nadia & faiz somewhere near TCD. I didnt mind much coz i used the rambler for the bus rides.

Anyways. So we went to the funder thingy - I, nadia, nadia (faiz), faiz, alif, naim. First ride: "WILD MOUSE", it looked completely harmless, slow & dumb from down below, and pretty much like a ride for kids U12. But looks can be deceiving, no? It was friggin scary. abit. coz i sat the furthest out. I felt like i was going to fly off, so i grabbed on to the handle so hard, when i came down from the ride my legs were shaking. Haha. i bet ucu&muni wud make fun of me if they were there. ha ha ha.... the ride at first was...not at all slow. it was friggin speeding & turns u around everytime u reach the corners which makes u feel like the cart (w/e u call it) ure on is gonna fly off the rail.

The next ride, i dono wats the name. That ride scared the crap out of me. I was shaking even before the ride started. During the ride, I shouted till i couldnt shout anymore. omg, it turns u 360 up in the air while spinning u around and round and round... plus the flashy lights effect makes u uber dizzy. gah. after that ride, other rides were like nothing. Alif said his eyeballs went behind his head when the chairs were turned 360. Mine didnt, coz i closed my eyes. hahahaha..hah ha ha. nt funny. i tot i was gonna die during the numerous spins. When it has stopped everyone of us were uber dizzy, and our legs were painful coz it flew everywhere while we spinning on the ride. we sat down near the ferris wheel and stared at the roller coaster ride. but we didnt go on the roller coaster, everyone, with naim as an exception, was completely dizzy and wanted to throw up.

then we went inside. look arnd, look arnd.... but none of the rides interested me after the extreme spin i had. Lol. naim n faiz went on the ride that spins u so fast, that u'll be stuck to the walls when the floor disappears. I watched them, it looked fun. then the blokes played games. then we went for the bumper car. and then... hm. that was it.

enuf funderland.

********************************************

I realized i'm really boring. Not a negative thought, but its the truth. I'm nt someone who follows a particular crowd. nor do i stay in a particular click. U'll see me goin off alone to places like, err, the gym, shops, city, london, etc. Being alone don't really bother me, and sometimes, oddly, im really happy that i'm alone. I like helping ppl. I love sharing anything that i know/have, all aspects of it: random thoughts, study materials, food, etc. I know that some ppl dont like to share esp regarding studies, coz they're afraid that the ppl they share it with will excel more than they do (in m'sia its called being "KIASU"). But to me, honestly, i'm happy if the person excels than i do. at least u know that along the way that u helped them at some point.

when i was small, there was a day when my dad helped his fren, coz something was wrong with his car's battery. We were spose to go somewhere, so in my mind (that time) i thot that my dad shud just let his fren settle his own prob. I asked him "kenapa juga abah mau tolong dia?" and my dad replied "mestilah. dia kan kwn abah. kita mesti tlg org slalu" it was something like that. That time i was too young to understand what he was trying to tell me. But now i get it :)

its almost 4am. and i ate 1/3 of the maltesers. i gotta stop. toodles~


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Why?

Hmm... Its weird reading to what others are saying and doing now. I mean those who i've known from the past and also those of the present. Though I'm not quite sure what point am i trying to make, their mentalities (expressed in pictures and "about me"s they've posted) keeps me wondering. Some questions that I have for them, probably i should answer myself first. But i do think i'm very much thinking clearly, better than i was before (esp in high sch and college), but still, in the process of learning :)


Why do they say "i haven't" when they actually have? Don't they know it hurts in many ways? What if others do the same to them? How would they feel? Why do they lie bluntly without thinking of the guilt that might proceed afterwards? Why shower those who don't deserve with compliments? Why give credits to those who don't earn it? What are they trying to do actually? Crushing you by flattering with compliments? Do they expect the same reaction from you? Like to give them compliments also in return?


When i think back, why does the scenario seem so familiar, i realize, its high sch all over again. Growing older day by day doesn't mean you'll grow wiser too. To be wise it all depends on oneself. I think everyone in their stable mind knows that. Because i've seen those who are older than me with the mentality of a 14 year old. And its not because they have mental problems or anything close to medical mental conditions. They choose to live with the minds of a 14 year old. Perhaps they think its cute.... or something (I dowana say thing that might hurt others, wait scratch that. I think I already did).


There are loads of whys and hows and whats going through my mind as days pass by (esp nowadays). Maybe not just me, you too perhaps. When i start looking back to see how I was, and what I have become today... how what i did in the past result in who i am today. It crossed my mind that "How will i think of myself after 20 years, when i start looking back again? What will I be after this? Where will I be after 10 years?"


I know i'm not making any sense to you. But it does to me. Because its like a self-conflict thing. Anyways. Perhaps, i should now start looking at today AND tomorrow, before i turn back again :)




A m i r a h .

Sunday, December 7, 2008

What am I doing? Procrastinating.

First semester. OK, Not my best effort. How come I always think i know so little? How come it always seems NOT ENOUGH? And i can never, i mean really NEVER recall what I've read? And my exam starts tuesday. TUESDAY the 9th. I have no plans of repeating but im not sure that will happen. Urghh.

Nvm. I got another semester of the year. Just wait and see. Gym and books. and LIFE. Im gonna rock them.

Ive read this from somewhere, so I'm sharing it :)

"If you want the RAINBOW,
you gotta put up with the RAIN."


And there are times when you just have to walk away from those who keep you feeling down and bad about yourself.
They're the ones with issues they can't handle. So w/e.


Cheers.

my midterm exam results: B-, B, B+, A+. And personally, its not anywhere near good to me.
oh and i've been really pissed lately for reasons ive told my dad over the phone yesterday.
w/e la. after medsch i bet there'll be more of yous. thank you for preparing me at a very early stage.